Fascination, personal musings and all things attractive

This evening is a very strange one indeed.  I do believe I'm slightly hormonal, watching romance movies with my cats and dog wondering if one day my life will become a romance story in and of itself.  Even reading back on the various relationships I've had, I think to myself, will there ever be an end to the drama of breaking up and finally just be an ever after.  Then I realize I live in the real world and that my happy ending is not likely.  The happy ending that's more than likely to happen for me, is finding a bigger apartment for my cats and dog and retiring at a nice old age and having a nice large marijuana farm so I can stay marginally stoned the entire time I wait for death.  Before that time however I plan on meeting all kinds of women and men and testing those tepid waters that writhe underneath my feet.  I plan on visiting places meeting new people and living life to the fullest while I am still young. 

Ok so now that my personal musings are over with lets get with what you all have been waiting for...new developments in my life.

Ok so I work with a secretary who is fantastic, sexy as hell and smart, around my age very attractive.  We shared numbers and I've sent him a text or 2, but no more than that preferably because first off in my lessons in life I will not appear needy or desperate and I would prefer him to come to me.  I really like him and he's a nice guy.  He told me and the other ladies I work with that he has tattoos. Nickname: Tattoo

One of the managers I work with is, well when I first saw him he damn near took my breath away.  I so love talking to him because he is on my level and what's even better he even lives near me.  blue eyes.  Small development nothing huge.  Nickname: Blues

I met a guy, who's a doctor and very attractive.  Smart, funny and receptive.  Nickname: Doc

Alright now saving the best for last....This is the one I found most entertaining.  I was coming back from my favorite coffee shop and walking down to the rivers edge, I almost ran into a guy as I was walking down there because I was lost in my thoughts. We go our seperate ways and as I go sit under a tree, drink my latte and enjoy the scenery, I see him scaling the ledge to the embankment of the river so he can walk on the outcropping of rocks.  I start an open monologue in my head as I watch him sit down on the outcropping.  After about 15 minutes of him just sitting out there, I see him coming back.  Curiosity being more than I can take i walk over to the little area that leads to the rock wall and sit down on a bench.  When he comes close to where I'm at I say 'hello, I have a question for you.'  So we start talking and it was really pleasant because he consented to join me on the bench.  We haven't shared numbers but he's aware of my favorite coffee shop cause that's where he goes.  Maybe we'll see each other again...maybe not, only time will tell. Nickname: Mexico


I've given each of these guys nicknames just in case more develops I can refer you back to their origin.  Who knows this could be quit fun.

fuck buddies

lol so I txted my fuck buddy to tell him I once again single and he informs me that he misses hooking up with me.  I was informed that I was pretty damn good in bed.  Well I suppose its time to find another fuck buddy...gay.

The breakup...cleaner break than I've ever had...

Well I just broke up with my girlfriend.  To be honest she wasn't mad or at least didn't let on that she was mad.  I could tell she was holding back tears because she didn't want to cry in front of me and to be honest I was about to cry but I held back my tears, she was an awesome girlfriend but I knew that in the long run we would not have lasted and that if we stayed in the relationship long term it would have come to a very messy end and that's not something I had wanted for either of us, because she is a great girl with a fantastic personality, but our personalities in the long run would clash and then our relatonship would be nothing but a smoldering heap.  she would have asked if I'd like to get a place with her and I would have had to reply with I can't.  she did agree to stay friends though which is good, but I'm going to give her time to lick her wounds in peace.  I'm glad this was not a messy break up, I hate those its not good for either person besides I'd much rather keep her as a friend than to lose her as a lover....that line has brought me nothing but heartache in the past.  this post is done.  I need to go lick my wounds...my self inflicted wounds.

Mohawk, crazy hick and committment issues...

ok so remember about that girl I told you about that was pushing for a relationship even though we didn't know each other...well ya we been dating 2 months going on our third the 22 or 28th of this month.  The damn girl drives me bonkers.  Shes so hyper and happy and I mean she's really hyper bounces off the walls, I love the fact she's a very happy person but she's over the top with it.  I had considered asking her to live with me but I don't think I have the patience for that.  I'm a very mellow and down to earth type of girl, I don't usually get to excited and don't mind staying in and mostly I don't talk alot.  My girl however talks all the time, when she gets any caffiene she bounces off the damn wall, did I mention she reminds me of a teenage girl when she's like this.  She's on antidepressant medication so she's got one more thing in common with me, psych issues.  I don't forsee our relationship lasting too long because we are so different.  I love her don't get me wrong but I would rather hurt her earlier in our relationship than later when it'll only get harder on both of us, time is on my side.  I guess I'm not a very committed person when it comes to relationships, I'm too wishy washy, besides i'm still quit young and I want to explore everything out there.  She's coming over later this evening and I'm going to sit her down and tell her what's on my mind, be very open and honest...not that this has actually done me any good in the past and trying to be open and honest with a girl...wow that should be interesting.  I hope she agrees to just be friends for right now.

Ok now the crazy ass hick development.  He had a girl move in with him with 2 children, did I mention moved in with hicks dad..?  They didn't even know each other for christs sake!!! yea...well she brought her kids but lost them because hicks dads house is the house of a hoarder, and she wasn't out there to pick them up because of one last booty call....'yea i'm suppose to pick my kids up, but lets fuck instead, I like that so much more than actually trying to take care of my kids.'  So she lost her kids, crazy hick got a house for them so she could get her kids back and so he could take care of her, one I didn't get cause I knew I'd get fucked over....hey guess what, he did get fucked over, anyways so instead of busting her ass to get her kids back she goes out, parties, does drugs and fucks over crazy ass hick.  This entire time we all were trying to tell him he was in a relationship with her but he said no they weren't they were only fuck buddies...yea...ok...right.  Well when I tried to tell him I'm happy he's in a relationship he tells me no I'm not, I'm waiting for you, you have my heart and I love you and I want to be in a relationship with you...blah blah blah blah... so the bitch pisses hick off and he kicks her out cause she was fucking around his back and doing drugs.  Now a week or 2 later he feels sorry for kicking her out and telling DFS that she was out doing drugs and what not and is trying to get her back cause 'she found a way in my heart and i don't know how she did it...i really care for her.'  Idiot, even though not only did we all tell him he was in a relationship but also that she was bad for him and that in the end she was going to fuck him over....well now he's going back to the state I brought him from, a good idea in my opinion he seemed to have more going for him out there than he does down here, not to mention I really want him to stop confessing his love and pouring out his damn heart to me.  He got so pissed at me when I told him I was talking to women on the internet to explore my options.  Seriously we got into a huge fight over it and he gave me that stare..the stare that was trying to make me back down.  I've got a steal rod for a spine and an ice cold heart and I told him to get his shit and get out, I wasn't interested in dating him right now which is what I told him when he first came to live with me...fucktard.  So anyways, now that I'm off that tangent.  He's giving her 2 weeks to come back to him before he ups and leaves to go back to his state.  Good riddens to bad rubbish, I found out that he hasn't changed in anyway in fact he seems to have gotten worse and now I feel content....now to get rid of my roommate...omg! Thats another blog post...damn I can't wait for him to leave!!