In my minds thought, internet failed me once it can't certainly fail me a second time can it? Whats the harm in trying again. On the internet again another uniform brat finds his way onto my page, again we strike up a convo, we meet at the mall, is this beginning to sound a bit familiar... Well let me back it up a bit. I see his profile pic, skinny, dorky kid, my type although with a certain certainty I knew that if we were ever to have sex i'd probably break him. He baits me with an invitation to a dance, a ball of sorts, I'm ecstatic I've never been invited to a dance before. So over the next couple weeks we talk about it, he's charming, can talk very well and his voice wasn't winey or annoying, jackpot! What's more he even had a good, well grounded job, an officer in the military hoorah! Hot! We decide to double date it, more my idea than anything. So we meet up at the mall, and then all go to a museum, kinda like a jungle gym for big kids, sounded like great fun to me. When I see this person get out of his jeep, I'm struck by how is profile pic doesn't look anything like him. First off his nose is pointed up, like he's constantly looking down at everyone, I can forgive the nose. He was a bit chunkier than I had expected, kind of scared the hell out of me but forgiveable, could have at least warned a girl. See kids never trust profile pics it could be some creapy fat guy wanting to steal all your candy. Thanking God I had decided to double date it with my 2 close friends, we all go to the museum, yay! fun! Or so I think, well this guy was not a playing guy, he was an uptight stiff who was shy, whats more fun than to make a stiff, flimsy and a shy guy open. We continue to go on dates, me curious about him, and he looking for a wife, haha I'm not wifey material at least not in that point in time.
We start to date and its cool in the beginning but as we continue to date the stiff becomes crude and an ass. We would only see each other a couple days out of the month and when I came over he'd ask me when I was going home. What's more the sex sucked, he got off but I never had that priviledge. Every time I'd come close to breaking up with him he'd say that one thing that would keep me in the relationship. He spoke the christian language but was far from it. He asks me to marry him, now how he asks me was a bit off but I could forgive him, (I don't know if you see all the forgiving I've done in my relationships but I'm seeing it), he used a ring I bought for 5 bucks taking it off my one finger and placing it on my ring finger asking me if I'd marry him. We were sitting on his grandmothers couch of all places. Prior to this he bought himself a treadmill he never used cause he hated exercising with the other military gentlemen, and had spent 3 grand on a stupid fucking computer that didn't even work, blaming me at one point cause he couldn't afford it cause he liked to go out and eat with me. You offer to pay, sure, I mean its not like I drove 40 mins to visit a convict or anything...asshole. He said when he got back he'd buy me an engagement ring, somehow I highly doubted this.
The day he left for deployment, I'm driving him to the airport and he turns to me and says "I know I shouldn't say this but I'm going to anyways, I almost asked you to sleep on the couch last night so I could get a decent nights rest." My jaw nearly dropped off the face of the planet. I told him "there are some things I just don't need to know." He told me "I'm making the point that I didn't tell you last night." The thought than ran through my head was not a nice one I wanted him to get shot, suffer horribly and die a horrible lonely death. How dare he say that to me. Not only did he say that but he also informed me that when he gets back home he just wanted me to pick him up and drop him off at home because he wanted to be alone. I asked him so that means you won't want to spend anytime with me even though you'll have been gone for 6 months. He said yea, cause I won't have had anytime to myself and I don't want you there till I'm ready to have you. I was like ok then. I did not break up with him at this point in time.
We make it 3 months into his deployment, me horny as hell cause he didn't give good sex and I got nothing while he was there, I considered cheating on him. I considered many times during our relationship to cheat on him, the key here is I considered it, but I didn't do it...damnit. Having my alloted time away from him to give myself proper time to think about our relationship, I discuss with my best girl about should I wait till he gets back home and jerk him around a bit more or just do it over the phone. Seeking various opinions the best way to do this, cause as much as I hated doing the bitch thing and break up with him while he was deployed, I decided I had ended my social circle long enough for this asshole and now its time to become the bitch and do what I hate to do. So when he informed me that he was ready for me to call him, I called him and told him our relationship was over with. I told him, lied to him, I said we're on 2 different pages of 2 different books. What I should have told him was that I was breaking up with him because he was a prick, but if he became reckless where he's at I'd feel bad and I didn't want that on my conscience. I mailed his stuff to his mother and that was the end of that relationship. I still ponder to myself if I had done the right thing, but as I reflect on our relationship and how much of an asshole he was, I know it was the right thing to do, horrible timing but it was time nonetheless. Prick.
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